His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
