I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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