hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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