Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
