The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize