Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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