Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
