Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
