All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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