And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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