Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
