If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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