And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
