eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
