I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
