Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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