Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She just used a chaser for red wine.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
