Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
