Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
