Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.