like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
