Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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