No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
