Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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