Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize