I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
