Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
