he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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