i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
