i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
