Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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