I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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