Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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