Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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