I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize