im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
