I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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