The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
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still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
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Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
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