8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
