you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
