i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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