i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
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No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
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do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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