Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Randomize
