Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
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