"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
