finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
