it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
