They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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