Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Randomize
