Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
