Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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