So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
