Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Farmville is her only friend.
it's like iHOP with fire
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
