If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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