Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
