i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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