i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
