Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
