Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
