Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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