He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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